counter sign says that all price cost one buck.
moose:how much does all this item cost?
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
moose said," does anybody know the emergency number for 9-1-1?"
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
moose little sister said," today, im 10 years old."
moose replied,"duh, congratulation, how old are you now?"
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
cant think of other things now
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Thursday, 12 March 2009
an essay written by Johnny
Looking outside the window - describe the sight, sounds and activities.
looking outside the window got bird, got boy. boy eat bird- bird die. i see a rainbow outside. it is colourful. i am happy because it is beautiful. i see children playing balls outside. all kinds of balls. football, basketball, netball, baseball, ballball and more balls.
my mom and dad come into my room and sit beside me on my bed. my mom is sitting on my right and my dad is sitting on my left. they are happy and i am happy. suddenly, some sparrows flew past. our family dog then jumped out of window to catch some birds.
our dog is a very active dog. he eats a lot. he is a dog who eats a lot. this is why he is active. however, he is not a clever dog because he is mad. when he jumped out of the window, he forgot that our family lives on the twenty fifth floor. dog die. me sad.
this is a bad day for me looking outside the window because i am sad. i am sad because my parents jus bought the dog yesterday. we are sad. suddenly an aeroplane flies past the window. we forget aboud our dog and are very suprised because we never seen an aeroplane before. as a result, we are happy because the aeroplane is exiting.
my mom is talking to me but i keep looking out of the window. she screams but i still look outside the window. i am deaf because of the large sound from the aeroplane. we are sad again, but happy because the rainbow is still in the sky.
this is an exiting day outside my window.
teacher's comment: C+
looking outside the window got bird, got boy. boy eat bird- bird die. i see a rainbow outside. it is colourful. i am happy because it is beautiful. i see children playing balls outside. all kinds of balls. football, basketball, netball, baseball, ballball and more balls.
my mom and dad come into my room and sit beside me on my bed. my mom is sitting on my right and my dad is sitting on my left. they are happy and i am happy. suddenly, some sparrows flew past. our family dog then jumped out of window to catch some birds.
our dog is a very active dog. he eats a lot. he is a dog who eats a lot. this is why he is active. however, he is not a clever dog because he is mad. when he jumped out of the window, he forgot that our family lives on the twenty fifth floor. dog die. me sad.
this is a bad day for me looking outside the window because i am sad. i am sad because my parents jus bought the dog yesterday. we are sad. suddenly an aeroplane flies past the window. we forget aboud our dog and are very suprised because we never seen an aeroplane before. as a result, we are happy because the aeroplane is exiting.
my mom is talking to me but i keep looking out of the window. she screams but i still look outside the window. i am deaf because of the large sound from the aeroplane. we are sad again, but happy because the rainbow is still in the sky.
this is an exiting day outside my window.
teacher's comment: C+
an essay made by Peter
what i would like to see in my aged parents/grandparents
i am a boy. a boy is a boy. girl is a girl but i am not a girl. why i am not a girl because i am a boy. a very good boy. i have a sister and three parents. two mothers and one father. there are mad people and i am their mad child. we are all mad.
when they are old, i am hoping that they have earned a lot of money by then. money is money. not money is not money. money is good so I like money. when they are old they do not need so much money so i can take all their money and use.
because of my three parents, they are more of them to take care of each other. i can then go use all their money as they do not need the money. they can go and play chess or sing songs together.
teacher's comment: redo it again!!
i am a boy. a boy is a boy. girl is a girl but i am not a girl. why i am not a girl because i am a boy. a very good boy. i have a sister and three parents. two mothers and one father. there are mad people and i am their mad child. we are all mad.
when they are old, i am hoping that they have earned a lot of money by then. money is money. not money is not money. money is good so I like money. when they are old they do not need so much money so i can take all their money and use.
because of my three parents, they are more of them to take care of each other. i can then go use all their money as they do not need the money. they can go and play chess or sing songs together.
teacher's comment: redo it again!!
Sunday, 8 March 2009
365 days not enough for a student
It's not the fault of student if
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
*Please pass this on and you will have good luck for your
examinations through out your life studying =)
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
*Please pass this on and you will have good luck for your
examinations through out your life studying =)
this is good
Six Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologise about this. I'm an idiot and I needed company.
Ah Beng The Crazy Singaporean
AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed!
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : 'Do you have color TV ?'
Salesgirl : 'Yes !'
Ah Beng : 'Give me a green one, please '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name,
Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on 'Salary Expected', but he is not
sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes ' Yes '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Salesgirl : 'That is a thermos flask.'
Ah Beng : 'What does it do ?'
Salesgirl : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Ah Beng : 'I'll buy it!'
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Ah Beng : 'It's a thermos flask.'
Boss : 'What does it do ?'
Ah Beng : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Boss : 'What do you have in it !?'
Ah Beng : 'Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream'
-------? ? ? ? ? ? -------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always
compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks his picture is being taken.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer
for support.
Ah Beng : 'I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an
hour and still nobody come and help me ?!'
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
'I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear'
'Oh dear !' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
'But.... what happened to the other ear ?'
Ah Beng answered : 'That stupid dumbo called back!!!!'
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: 'COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?'
Operator: 'JUST A MINUTE...'
Ah Beng : 'THANK YOU ' AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
-----? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
'It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT', Ah Beng brags.
'FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG', the friend exclaims.
'YOU ARE A FOOL.' Ah Beng replies, 'SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS'.
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE'
and his companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE'.
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR ?'
Ah Beng replies : 'Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED'
???????????! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed!
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : 'Do you have color TV ?'
Salesgirl : 'Yes !'
Ah Beng : 'Give me a green one, please '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name,
Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on 'Salary Expected', but he is not
sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes ' Yes '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Salesgirl : 'That is a thermos flask.'
Ah Beng : 'What does it do ?'
Salesgirl : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Ah Beng : 'I'll buy it!'
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Ah Beng : 'It's a thermos flask.'
Boss : 'What does it do ?'
Ah Beng : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Boss : 'What do you have in it !?'
Ah Beng : 'Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream'
-------? ? ? ? ? ? -------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always
compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks his picture is being taken.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer
for support.
Ah Beng : 'I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an
hour and still nobody come and help me ?!'
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
'I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear'
'Oh dear !' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
'But.... what happened to the other ear ?'
Ah Beng answered : 'That stupid dumbo called back!!!!'
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: 'COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?'
Operator: 'JUST A MINUTE...'
Ah Beng : 'THANK YOU ' AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
-----? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
'It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT', Ah Beng brags.
'FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG', the friend exclaims.
'YOU ARE A FOOL.' Ah Beng replies, 'SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS'.
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE'
and his companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE'.
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR ?'
Ah Beng replies : 'Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED'
???????????! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!
someone
someone
is very proud of you
someone
is thinking of you
someone
cares about you
cares about you
someone
misses you
misses you
someone
wants to talk to you
someone
wants to be with you
wants to be with you
someone
hopes you aren't in trouble
hopes you aren't in trouble
someone
is thankful for the support you have
provided
someone
wants to hold your hand
someone
hopes everything turns out all right
wants to hold your hand
someone
hopes everything turns out all right
someone
wants you to be happy
wants you to be happy
someone
wants you to find them
someone
is celebrating your successes
someone
wants to give you a gift
wants to give you a gift
someone
think you ARE a gift
think you ARE a gift
someone
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone
wants to hug you
wants to hug you
someone
loves you
someone
wants to lavish you with small gifts
wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone
admires your strength
admires your strength
someone
is thinking of you and smiling
someone
wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone
thinks the world of you
someone
wants to protect you
wants to protect you
someone
would do anything for you
would do anything for you
someone
wants to be forgiven
wants to be forgiven
someone
is grateful for your forgiveness
is grateful for your forgiveness
someone
wants to laugh with you about old times
someone
remembers you and wishes you were there
someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody
values your advice
someone
wants to tell you how much they care
wants to tell you how much they care
someone
wants to stay up watching old movies with
you
wants to stay up watching old movies with
you
someone
wants to share their dreams with you
someone
wants to hold you in their arms
someone
wants YOU to hold them in your arms
wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone
treasures your spirit
treasures your spirit
someone
wishes they could STOP time because of
you
someone
can't wait to see you
someone
wishes that things didn't have to change
wishes that things didn't have to change
someone
loves you for who you are
someone
loves the way you make them feel
someone
wants to be with you
wants to be with you
someone
hears a song that reminds them of you
hears a song that reminds them of you
someone
wants you to know they are there for you
wants you to know they are there for you
someone
is glad that you're their friend
is glad that you're their friend
someone
wants to be your friend
wants to be your friend
someone
stayed up all night thinking about you
stayed up all night thinking about you
someone
is alive because of you
someone
is wishing that you would notice them
someone
wants to get to know you better
wants to get to know you better
someone
believes that you are their soul mate
someone
wants to be near you
someone
misses your guidance and advice
misses your guidance and advice
someone
values your guidance and advice
someone
has faith in you
someone
trusts you
someone
needs you to send them this letter
needs you to send them this letter
someone
needs your support
someone
needs you to have faith in them
needs you to have faith in them
someone
needs you to let them be your friend
needs you to let them be your friend
someone
will cry when they read this
all zodiac signs
VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything.. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective.. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful.. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive.. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
14 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything.. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective.. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful.. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive.. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
14 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
sharing
A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said,
' God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
God led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.
In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.
They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it impossible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful..
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
God said, 'You have seen Hell.'
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.
The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'
It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.
You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.
I'm in the 7%
Remember that I will always share my spoon with you.
Mistakes
What they actually mean
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a
New path
If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a
New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a
'Mistake' No arguement, please!
a long joke
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?"
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out of ten people die of the disease you
have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
