counter sign says that all price cost one buck.
moose:how much does all this item cost?
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
moose said," does anybody know the emergency number for 9-1-1?"
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
moose little sister said," today, im 10 years old."
moose replied,"duh, congratulation, how old are you now?"
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?
cant think of other things now
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Thursday, 12 March 2009
an essay written by Johnny
Looking outside the window - describe the sight, sounds and activities.
looking outside the window got bird, got boy. boy eat bird- bird die. i see a rainbow outside. it is colourful. i am happy because it is beautiful. i see children playing balls outside. all kinds of balls. football, basketball, netball, baseball, ballball and more balls.
my mom and dad come into my room and sit beside me on my bed. my mom is sitting on my right and my dad is sitting on my left. they are happy and i am happy. suddenly, some sparrows flew past. our family dog then jumped out of window to catch some birds.
our dog is a very active dog. he eats a lot. he is a dog who eats a lot. this is why he is active. however, he is not a clever dog because he is mad. when he jumped out of the window, he forgot that our family lives on the twenty fifth floor. dog die. me sad.
this is a bad day for me looking outside the window because i am sad. i am sad because my parents jus bought the dog yesterday. we are sad. suddenly an aeroplane flies past the window. we forget aboud our dog and are very suprised because we never seen an aeroplane before. as a result, we are happy because the aeroplane is exiting.
my mom is talking to me but i keep looking out of the window. she screams but i still look outside the window. i am deaf because of the large sound from the aeroplane. we are sad again, but happy because the rainbow is still in the sky.
this is an exiting day outside my window.
teacher's comment: C+
looking outside the window got bird, got boy. boy eat bird- bird die. i see a rainbow outside. it is colourful. i am happy because it is beautiful. i see children playing balls outside. all kinds of balls. football, basketball, netball, baseball, ballball and more balls.
my mom and dad come into my room and sit beside me on my bed. my mom is sitting on my right and my dad is sitting on my left. they are happy and i am happy. suddenly, some sparrows flew past. our family dog then jumped out of window to catch some birds.
our dog is a very active dog. he eats a lot. he is a dog who eats a lot. this is why he is active. however, he is not a clever dog because he is mad. when he jumped out of the window, he forgot that our family lives on the twenty fifth floor. dog die. me sad.
this is a bad day for me looking outside the window because i am sad. i am sad because my parents jus bought the dog yesterday. we are sad. suddenly an aeroplane flies past the window. we forget aboud our dog and are very suprised because we never seen an aeroplane before. as a result, we are happy because the aeroplane is exiting.
my mom is talking to me but i keep looking out of the window. she screams but i still look outside the window. i am deaf because of the large sound from the aeroplane. we are sad again, but happy because the rainbow is still in the sky.
this is an exiting day outside my window.
teacher's comment: C+
an essay made by Peter
what i would like to see in my aged parents/grandparents
i am a boy. a boy is a boy. girl is a girl but i am not a girl. why i am not a girl because i am a boy. a very good boy. i have a sister and three parents. two mothers and one father. there are mad people and i am their mad child. we are all mad.
when they are old, i am hoping that they have earned a lot of money by then. money is money. not money is not money. money is good so I like money. when they are old they do not need so much money so i can take all their money and use.
because of my three parents, they are more of them to take care of each other. i can then go use all their money as they do not need the money. they can go and play chess or sing songs together.
teacher's comment: redo it again!!
i am a boy. a boy is a boy. girl is a girl but i am not a girl. why i am not a girl because i am a boy. a very good boy. i have a sister and three parents. two mothers and one father. there are mad people and i am their mad child. we are all mad.
when they are old, i am hoping that they have earned a lot of money by then. money is money. not money is not money. money is good so I like money. when they are old they do not need so much money so i can take all their money and use.
because of my three parents, they are more of them to take care of each other. i can then go use all their money as they do not need the money. they can go and play chess or sing songs together.
teacher's comment: redo it again!!
Sunday, 8 March 2009
365 days not enough for a student
It's not the fault of student if
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
*Please pass this on and you will have good luck for your
examinations through out your life studying =)
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
*Please pass this on and you will have good luck for your
examinations through out your life studying =)
this is good
Six Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologise about this. I'm an idiot and I needed company.
Ah Beng The Crazy Singaporean
AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed!
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : 'Do you have color TV ?'
Salesgirl : 'Yes !'
Ah Beng : 'Give me a green one, please '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name,
Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on 'Salary Expected', but he is not
sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes ' Yes '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Salesgirl : 'That is a thermos flask.'
Ah Beng : 'What does it do ?'
Salesgirl : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Ah Beng : 'I'll buy it!'
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Ah Beng : 'It's a thermos flask.'
Boss : 'What does it do ?'
Ah Beng : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Boss : 'What do you have in it !?'
Ah Beng : 'Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream'
-------? ? ? ? ? ? -------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always
compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks his picture is being taken.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer
for support.
Ah Beng : 'I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an
hour and still nobody come and help me ?!'
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
'I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear'
'Oh dear !' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
'But.... what happened to the other ear ?'
Ah Beng answered : 'That stupid dumbo called back!!!!'
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: 'COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?'
Operator: 'JUST A MINUTE...'
Ah Beng : 'THANK YOU ' AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
-----? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
'It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT', Ah Beng brags.
'FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG', the friend exclaims.
'YOU ARE A FOOL.' Ah Beng replies, 'SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS'.
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE'
and his companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE'.
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR ?'
Ah Beng replies : 'Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED'
???????????! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed!
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : 'Do you have color TV ?'
Salesgirl : 'Yes !'
Ah Beng : 'Give me a green one, please '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name,
Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on 'Salary Expected', but he is not
sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes ' Yes '
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Salesgirl : 'That is a thermos flask.'
Ah Beng : 'What does it do ?'
Salesgirl : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Ah Beng : 'I'll buy it!'
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : 'What is that shiny object ?'
Ah Beng : 'It's a thermos flask.'
Boss : 'What does it do ?'
Ah Beng : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
Boss : 'What do you have in it !?'
Ah Beng : 'Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream'
-------? ? ? ? ? ? -------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always
compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks his picture is being taken.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer
for support.
Ah Beng : 'I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an
hour and still nobody come and help me ?!'
-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
'I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear'
'Oh dear !' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
'But.... what happened to the other ear ?'
Ah Beng answered : 'That stupid dumbo called back!!!!'
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: 'COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?'
Operator: 'JUST A MINUTE...'
Ah Beng : 'THANK YOU ' AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
-----? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
'It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT', Ah Beng brags.
'FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG', the friend exclaims.
'YOU ARE A FOOL.' Ah Beng replies, 'SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS'.
------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE'
and his companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE'.
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR ?'
Ah Beng replies : 'Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED'
???????????! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!
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